I was talking to a mother of a child in my daughter's swimming class tonight, who is waiting on an ADHD diagnosis for her son and daughter aged 6 and 4, so they can get medication to modulate their behavior. I had never spoken to this person before and have no idea about her, her children, or what they face day to day, but I openly discussed with her and asked some questions as to what she goes through. She also has newly diagnosed ADHD.
After she described a bit, I asked her a hypothetical question. If there were a hundred children, how many of them would have ADHD. She estimated at less than ten. But then I asked a follow up, where based on a what she had said about the symptoms, and considering how we condition children to chase a dopamine high through quick, flashy content, how many would exhibit similar traits to having ADHD. She didn't want to answer, but admitted that a lot would. Therefore, if this is the case, the "average child" is likely to exhibit ADHD trait behaviors.
During this forty minute conversation, she had her four year old playing games on a phone to keep her quiet.
I don't know much about ADHD most likely, but it seems like a losing strategy to repeat the kinds of actions that reinforce the behaviors that likely lead to symptomatic traits. But, what was more interesting was that when I asked about what kinds of issues someone with ADHD might have as an adult, she said that being able to "keep friends" was one, because essentially once a friend was known, they became boring and no longer gave the hit of exciting dopamine from getting to know them, so the ADHD adult leaves.
This is terrible for quality of life.
But, what it got me thinking about was how many of the young people I know have similar tendencies, where they struggle to build lasting relationships. What this woman said supported my reasoning for it, where people only care about what they get out of the friendship. They are only committed as long as there is a payoff for them, but they are simultaneously looking to maximize their gains, by minimizing their inputs. They want a fast return and no commitment, so they can walk away, getting what they want.
It becomes a lonely life.
Because while fun while young, eventually, more is demanded from life experience and unfortunately, the opportunity to build what is now wanted, has slipped by. It is like people making a decision to not have children, and then regretting it when they are in their fifties - the ship has sailed.
What I have come to recognize, is that talking about parenting is a minefield. Rather than discussing in order to build clarity and improve practices, most parents are just looking for an excuse so they can keep doing what they are doing, and hide behind the cracked facade of it being in their children's best interest. The problem with the impact of all these "educational" games and the enormous amount of screen time parents are encouraging their children to spend, is that more and more studies are coming out on the depth of negative impact, and the lack of positive impact.
How long can someone ignore the symptoms?
I suspect, that a lot of people are chasing various diagnoses to explain their own behavior and that of their children, even if the root cause is to be found in their lifestyle, not their genes. It is not that there are no disorders and illnesses that cause different kinds of behaviors and challenges like attention problems or depression, but we would want to look at the environmental factors that could be causing it, before treating with medications - right?
Right?
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
