Do you believe love and understanding can genuinely change someone's deeply held hatred, or are some people simply beyond changing?
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Majority can be changed. But still, there is a tiny bit - in fractions - which are "simply beyond".
Love has its own ways of doing things.
I like the way u put thslis, simple and short which leaves a room for hope without assuming everyone will change. And I also like Ur last line because sometimes love seems to work in ways that logic alone can't explain
But what do you think makes that small fraction of people impossible to change?
Their own narcissistic nature, the society which makes them like a godly figure, and a disease :)
I just feel with consistent effort, people tend to have a change of mind
I think the starting point has to be mutual self-interest. Once people can ignore their hatred to trade and make money or solve security problems, then with a bit of time it can open up opportunities to create understanding. With understanding can come love, but it might take a long time !
If there is no intention on both sides, it is difficult to bring about any change.
Sometimes it needs a mediator, someone not involved in the original dispute, to help both find enough common ground. but the mediator needs to be truly neutral, not someone with their own agenda.
Yeah. However, the ideal scenario is where they do not need to be used.
That's an interesting way to look at it. You're suggesting that practical cooperation comes before emotional change. Maybe people don't need to like each other first
Exactly ! Pragmatism and self-interest are powerful drivers of human behaviour. You don't have to like someone to do business or come to an agreement with them. But hatred usually relies on dehumanising the other party, and once you're interacting with them regularly it gets harder to do that, and you find more things you have in common. Even if it is only a shared sense of humour !
Regular interaction has a way of breaking stereotypes because it's harder to hate someone you've come to know as a person. Maybe that's why genuine relationships often succeed where arguments fail? Cos I watched a movie that brought about that question
They just need a reason to keep showing up until their assumptions begin to change. However do you think understanding can still happen if that mutual benefit disappears?
Only we can change ourselves and no one else, if we don't want to change there will be no progress. So, I don't believe that.
I agree that change ultimately has to come from within, you are right Zoe. But do you think love and understanding can at least create the conditions that make someone want to change? Like a condition
Nothing can create, I think it's the same like I said before. Like if I have set my priorities for someone then anything they say I'll try to complete right? It doesn't mean they are the one guiding me, it means I'm allowing them and it's completely on me. But they will take it as they are changing me which is not true at all. We all do something for our loved ones because we want to.
So, from what you have said, will you say people don't change us but they can inspire us to change ourselves?
Not even inspire to be honest, I see it more as a conscious choice we make based on our own values and priorities. We choose to act because we care, not because they sparked a change in us. The decision and the power to change remain 100% ours.
The choice is definitely ours.....i'm liking the way you are putting this 😅but do you feel that our priority and values themselves can be shaped by those we meet out there?
They can expose us to new things but they don't shape us. The final filter is always our own mind. We decide what stays and what goes.
I think I agree with you on this cos exposure isn't the same as transformation. At the end of the day, we still decide what to accept and what to reject, even if certain experiences make us see things differently