RE: Walk The Plank

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honeydue in Reflections • 6 months ago

If you didn't have them, what a shame it would be. I think you have some idea of how much intelligence and talent you have, which means you bring (much) value to the world. So it would be a shame.

But you do have them. You do have those responsibilities and they are, to an extent, self-imposed. After all, how many dads, husbands, brothers don't just bolt for much lighter reasons? Which suggests the world also has value for you.

It's commendable, your honesty. I imagine it's not easy to say these things here or anywhere else, so thank you for saying them. For letting someone see. I hope you keep doing that -maybe those groups would be helpful, indeed. Why not at least see if there's something of value there?

People who kill themselves do so, it seems, because they genuinely believe the lives of their loved ones would be better off. They never are. Never. Which obviously is hard to see when you've got poles in your eyes, so I guess the only thing to do is remind them they're wrong about this (it's enough to lose anyone who really matters to know that hollowness never means better off) and that they can and will get through it. Blatantly obvious that people with giant poles sticking out of their damn eyes should not operate heavy machinery or make big life decisions either way ;)

6 months ago in Reflections by honeydue

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tarazkp 6 months ago

which means you bring (much) value to the world. So it would be a shame.

Maybe. But consider that in the experience of the individual in this case - forced to suffer to benefit others, even though they don't want to live on themselves. Is that fair, or is it cruel?

I don't see myself suiciding, because I am far too stubborn :D

People who kill themselves do so, it seems, because they genuinely believe the lives of their loved ones would be better off.

I can understand this position, and perhaps in some circumstances the family would be better off. It is like the "a child needs their father/mother" but that is not actually true, and the child could be far better off without them. Think about all those stories of abusive parents.

The other thing is, that everything is a learning experience and the most is learned in hard times. Kids lose their parents in a war or car crash, what is the difference?

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honeydue 6 months ago

I don't see myself suiciding, because I am far too stubborn :D

Good. :)

Is that fair, or is it cruel?

It's an interesting question, for sure, but I would argue a fair outcome can sometimes also be cruel. And also, supposing the individual goes on living for his loved ones, why should it be fair when so little of our love and our relationships (romantic but also familial) is?

I don't know whether it's fair or cruel. Maybe both, but it's also an act of love. He's surviving to spare his loved ones the pain of living through his suicide, which is often tremendous. If you love someone a great deal and your choice is between your suffering and theirs, the choice is obvious. And I know you know all that already.

Kids lose their parents in a war or car crash, what is the difference?

All the difference. Kids whose parents suicide are gonna spend every damn day asking why mummy or daddy chose to leave them, one in the two people who are supposed to be there and not make that choice made that choice. There's no choice in dying in war or a car crash, so I would say quite a lot of difference, indeed.

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