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So I thought it was an insect bite. Like most men, I ignored it. Mid-week, it was pretty painful, so I just stuck some voltarol on it. Sunday midday, I was in agony with a lump just slightly bigger than a golf ball. The wife sent me to the hospital.
Triage Nurse: "JESUS!"
A&E Nurse: "Whoa!"
Junior Doctor: "Ooh! I'm going to have to speak to my consultant."
Turns out it was an abscess, but not content with growing outwards, it decided to eat inwards as well, which meant going under the knife with a general anaesthetic.

