First off, I don't think it's love if you are keeping record or measuring who's doing more. Love in a relationship is about two people helping each other grow together, so it has to be mutual and one could falls short, it doesn't mean the love has to stop.
This is not about keeping records or anything l, it just simply about regular patter because there's a big difference between supporting someone through a difficult season and being consistently taken for granted. Where would you draw that line?
Yeah, love shouldn't be where one is being taken for granted. It's never a wise choice to remain in such when it feels that way.
Though I agree with what you said that love should not be transactional. But don't you think healthy love still requires reciprocity over time, even if it's not always equal not one sided?