There was a lot of time where I felt that I didn't understand people, feelings or what was happening to me but music helped me a lot, introspective rap that helped me to know and understand how I felt or how others may feel, it took me a long time plus one never ends to know oneself but I have improved a lot. It is very important to invest in oneself, both physically and mentally to be able to be better, to provide comfort for us and for our future family and loved ones.
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It all takes a process. Listening to music, reading books, walking in nature with grounding techniques, helps us feel better.
I'm glad to hear you're improvising so well.