I've sort of given up on the idea of having a serene and sorta normally unfolding life. I definitely don't think that's in the cards for me, at least for the imminent future, so with that said, the leaning into discomfort and seeing this all as an adventure has begun!
I left the ranch a couple days ago to head back to my farm to get it all spruced up as my parents are going to be moving into my house with my daughter and son-in-law. I'm also getting things organized so my brother can put his own home on the corner of our farm for him and his wife. Family illness and caregiving has evolved this scenario and I love how we are all coming together to address what is needed in a way that supports all.
That said, holy to do! I am cleaning out one whole half of my house, having a handicap toilet installed in one of the bathrooms, doing a bunch of long over due chores round this place, and oh yes, going back to school and interning the 24th.
Life is definitely lifing hard lol!
It's all good though. Or at least that's what I am telling myself these days as I am separated from the hubs who is up minding the ranch. I will supposedly drive back on most weekends, weather permitting, and I will also not even be staying in my own house most of the time, as it makes way more sense to bunk down at my friend's place near my internship for the next two semesters til I graduate for the first time.
Becoming a mental health clinician is quite an ordeal!
But, all that aside, I am hanging in there pretty well. The other day before I left, I harvested a bunch of odds and ends, slathered them with EVOO, salt, and pepper, roasted them, pureed them, and dipped grilled cheese sandwiches made with year old English cheddar on freshly baked sourdough, slathered with Irish butter right in the roasted tomato soup.
That was a good meal.
As I type this, I am sitting in the house I raised my children in, all alone for the moment, a moment I very much needed as the last forty-eight hours have been a melee of driving, appointments, cleaning, and interacting.
There's a sense of comfort here that is like a cup of roasted tomato soup. Everywhere I look there is a warm and toasty memory, okay, there's some rambunctious and rowdy memories too, but I like that. I honestly don't know what life holds for me these days, as each morning I seem to be waking up to even MORE, but in all honesty, I love being alive, so I will just keep kicking.
A nap would be appreciated though.