Are we chasing things though? Or are we just running away from the cascading events of the past, down the only path that remains, a result of our prior choices?
Which was the first choice that set you upon the path to having these thoughts and writing these words. So many people are "victims" of their circumstance, through which, as a result of their prior choices, (perhaps ones they couldn't even control) - find themselves with less and less agency as time drags on.
The concept of even being able to choose is a gift, a gift given by every circumstance you've encountered.
Maybe, I too, am rambling in response to your rambling, but that's the most cathartic part of interacting with another sentient being.